Because Sam did it.

Your best friend is
You have a crush on (...NO)
You hate (How is this possible)
You get bullied by (SO UNEXPECTED)
You are scared of (Hell no)
You go out with for 5 seconds
You get a confession from (agshazvxghsvxh)
You get in a fist fight with (guess who wins)
You had a one night stand with (OH BB <3)
Your first boyfriend is (FIRST = FAILURE)
Everybody graduates but (. . .)
You marry
Your first kid name is Holly (jezus)
You get in a dispute with Estonia
You get out of the dispute with the help of (THIS IS RATHER UNEXPECTED)
You have an affair with
You get caught by (ALSO -not- UNEXPECTED)
The chances of them telling 93% (OH SH-)
Your husband finds out about the affair, he feels Guilty (lol)
You two get divorced, you drown your sorrows with
The percentage of you two doing a one night stand 41%

You move in with Cuba
You start having feelings for Turkey (DO NOT WANT)
You get a confession from Turkey (*speechless*)
The percentage of you excepting their feelings 23% (HOORAY)

You say no, they then go out with (MMH)

The percentage of you like them two together 14% (SH-)

You get ambushed by

The chances of you getting out of their alive 23% (HEYYYY)

You unxpecting get glomped by Turkey (KILL THIS GUYYY)

You are lonely, you get a Drink of beer
Drunk, you kiss (isn't he my best friend ?)
Percentage of how much they liked the kiss 87% (adhsfcdcz)
You have a huge war against (IS THIS BECAUSE OF OUR AFFAIR ? HUH ?)
Your chances of winning 45% (so close and yet still so far)
You die by Drunk driving (no fun)
The only person not to go to your funeral is ( WHO NEEDS HIM, anyway ;n; )
This person is the most devestated by your death (ORLY ?? I'm flattered)
This person is teh most happiest taht you died (... THAT BASTARS IS SUPPOSED TO BE MY BFF and to have enjoyed my kiss fuckdammit)
This person is teh master mind of your death (because I dumped him after 5 sec)
Who you liked your life 77%

I feel this meme is deranged, somehow.
Have fun with it.